Pray
by xx.Bel.xx
Summary: I know there's good times behind that pain, hey can you tell me how I can make a change I close my eyes and I can see a better day I close my eyes and pray I close my eyes and I can see a better day I close my eyes and pray
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Glee, any of the songs included in this story or any references that have been included. I only own the story line. This story does not follow the TV show so if you do not like then do not read that simple.**

* * *

><p>It was the 1st of February when the knock on number 34 Riverview drive brought with it what would change the lives of the people living there forever.<p>

Mary Puckerman walked to the door while dusting her hands on her apron as she had been in the kitchen preparing breakfast for her daughter Lily. Her son Noah was coming home today after being away for the summer having gone on a road trip with his friends which already had her in high spirits.

Her family was everything to her and she was hoping that it was Rachel at the door as the young girl had offered to come help look after Lily so she could get everything ready for her sons arrival. She was making her famous Puckerman feast and they were having a family get together with all their closest friends and relatives for the last day of summer before all the kids had to go back to school.

Rachel and Noah were going into their Junior year of school and Mary hopped finally her thick headed son would finally open his eyes and see what was standing right in front of him in Rachel. The poor girl had had a crush on him since they were little and still running around making mud pies. Oh how she would love to see them start dating and someday give her beautiful little grandchildren. After all Rachel was Jewish what else could a mother ask for.

But as she opened the door she saw the familiar face of Joe their mailman. It was strange that he came knocking on their door usually he simply dropped the mail in the mailbox and went on his way as he had many other deliveries to make.

She was about to greet him warmly but abruptly stopped when she saw the expression on his face.

"Joe? What is it" Mary asked worried something was wrong as Joe was such a happy person and to see such dread on his face meant something serious must be wrong.

"Mary" He said in a voice that should only be used to console someone who has just lost a loved one

"Mary I am so sorry" He said shaking his head as he held out a single letter "I wish I wasn't the one who has to deliver this" And with one last shake of his head he turned and walked away

Looking down at the letter in her hands confusion was the first emotion she felt as she was the United States Army stamp on the front of the letter. This must be a mistake no one she knew was in the Army not even any of her friends let alone any family members.

But soon after that dread started to sink in as she harshly ripped open the envelope and reefing the letter out thinking the worst.

_Dear Madam:_

_A member of your family is now undergoing basic training here at Fort Ord, California. He is joining with thousands of other young men in helping to maintain our Nations strength and readiness for an emergency, a responsibility which each of us shares._

_He will receive the best instruction possible, for we know that a trained soldier, physically, mentally and morally sound, has a much better chance of success and survival in combat than an untrained man. _

The letter slid from her hands as she was unable to read anymore and as she fell to the ground no longer able to stand up no longer able to hold back the tears she had been holding in since she read the first words of the letter.

Even though the letter did not say his name she knew it was her Noah that they were talking about and to make matters worse as she looked up she saw Rachel's bright smile as the girl walked through their front gate before it slipped from her angelic face as she saw her sitting there unable to move… unable to feel.


	2. Chapter 2

When Rachel arrived at the Puckerman house she couldn't wait to help Mary get everything ready for when Noah arrived home. She had missed him so much over the summer and she couldn't help but smile to herself as she unconsciously reached for the silver chain hanging around her neck disappearing into her shirt.

But as she saw Mary sitting there in a heap crying her heart out she instantly knew something was wrong as she quickly rushed forward dropping to her knees in front of the older woman.

"Mary?" Rachel asked softly "Mary what's wrong?" But she got no answer as the only woman she ever knew to be the closest thing as a Mother broke down even more not even able to get out a single word.

That was when Rachel saw the piece of paper next to Mary as she reached out for it she knew that this letter must be the source of the poor woman's stress.

Picking it up she began to read hearing no protest from Mary. But when her eyes reached the last words of the letter she gasped horrified at what this letter could only mean.

"No" She whispered not being able to believe it "No this has to be a mistake" She insisted looking up at the older woman who just sadly shock her head grief filling her eyes.

"No it has to be! It has to be a mistake!" Rachel argued dropping the letter as if it was contaminated already feeling dirty from having touched it in the first place.

As she quickly stood up having every intention of finding the number for the basic training centre in Fort Ord, California and proving that their Noah… her Noah was not there and that this had all been a silly misunderstanding and that this disgusting letter had simply been sent to the wrong address. But before she could even take a step forward she caught her reflection in one of the windows of the Puckerman house.

Tears were flowing down her cheeks that she hadn't even realised were there but compared to the woman who was still seated on the ground she was holding it together… and that was what she had to do because even though she wished it wasn't true the Army doesn't make mistakes, letters like this don't get sent to an address without a reason and she knew that this letter was here for a reason.

At the moment she was all this family had left to hold it all together usually that had been Noah's job. It had been his job to hold his family together and make sure his mum and sister were happy but he wasn't here now and he probably wasn't coming back for god knows when.

And suddenly it all made sense.

_**Flash Back**_

_**It was late and Rachel had finally fallen asleep having not gotten a good nights rest since the beginning of summer before Noah left. He had gone of a road trip with Finn, Mike and Sam and the four of them were going to be gone for the whole summer and weren't arriving back until the day before school started back.**_

_**But only five minutes after she had dozed off her phone started ringing waking her up as she groggily reached for her phone not even bothering to check the caller I.D as she clicked the answer button.**_

"_**Hello?" She asked as she rubbed her eyes as they adjusted to the darkness of the room.**_

"_**Rach" An all to familiar voiced breathed out on the end of the line.**_

"_**Noah!" Rachel asked surprised as she sat upright reaching to turn her bedside lamp on **_

"_**Hey baby girl" She could hear the smile in his voice causing her to break into a smile as well**_

_**Hearing his voice after so long caused butterflies to her stomach and an ach in her chest knowing it would be another three weeks before she saw him again.**_

_**No one knew about their relationship as they had kept it hidden since he had asked her out at the start of their sophomore school year. They kept up appearances at school but every chance they got they would spend every moment together. He listened to her talk about her dreams and about Broadway for hours on end and she would help him study for his GED tests. Even though she did not approve of him not wanting to finish his schooling she accepted his choices and promised not to tell anyone what he was doing. She was even prouder of him when he passed all five of his GED test at the end of their sophomore year. **_

_**Basically they were exactly what the other had always been looking for and they were not only perfect for each other but they needed the other as neither could imagine what they would do without the other.**_

"_**Noah I miss you so much" Rachel said softly forcing herself not to cry about how hard it was to be able to hear him but not be able to touch or see him.**_

_**It was hard enough when he was leaving for his road trip neither of them wanted him to go but he had promised his friends and she wasn't about to let him break a promise seeing as he had been looking forward to going for weeks it was the fact of actually having to say goodbye to each other even though it was only for a few weeks.**_

"_**I know baby I know I miss you to" He said sadly **_

"_**Please come home soon" She begged even though she knew he wasn't coming for another three weeks she still wished it could be sooner and she couldn't help herself as the words spilled from her mouth.**_

"_**Rach you know I want to you know I would be there with you if I could" He sounded like he was in pain but she couldn't quite tell so she ignored it**_

"_**I know Noah" She sighed **_

"_**Rach?… Baby could you do something for me?" He asked he almost sounded nervous like he didn't want to have to ask this.**_

"_**Of cause Noah what is it?" She asked happy to be able to do anything to make him happy**_

"_**Look after mum and Lily for me while I'm gone… please baby you have to promise me you will look after them" He pleaded in a voice she had never heard come out of his mouth before and it scared her**_

"_**Of cause I will Noah you know I will" She said hesitantly **_

"_**And you have to promise me something" He said **_

"_**Anything" He was actually starting to scare her a lot now **_

"_**I know I shouldn't be asking you to do this but I'm selfish and well Rach I need you to promise me that you will wait for me" He begged "I need you to be there when I get home whenever that is… I need you to wait for me Rach I just… Rach I just don't know what I would do if I knew you weren't there waiting for me to come home because I love you baby" **_

_**She was speechless even though she knew Noah loved her and even though she had told him she loved him so many times before this was the first time ever those words had actually left his mouth.**_

"_**Noah your scaring me" She whispered**_

"_**Don't be scared baby girl" He said in what was meant to be a reassuring voice but it wasn't reassuring for either of them "I promise I'll only ever be a phone call or a letter away but Rachel you have to promise me please promise me that you will wait for me I need to hear you say it"**_

"_**I promise I'll wait for you Noah… I'll be waiting for you to come home" She promised as she was scared of what would happen if she didn't say those words.**_

"_**I love you so much Rachel never forget that… if your ever having doubts ever second guessing us or yourself just look at that ring that's on the end of your necklace put it on and remember the promise I made you that day… that someday I don't know when but someday we will be together forever that we will get married and grow old together because you are my life Rachel and we will be together again someday baby I promise don't forget that… I will love you till the day I die Rachel Berry"**_

_**But before she could reply the line went dead.**_

_**End Flash Back**_

She understood now. Understood why he had been so adamant to get his GED because you cant get into the Army without one if you haven't completed your schooling and Graduated. She now understood why he had made her promise those things, she understood why he had been so insistent in going on this road trip in the first place she understood why he had basically proposed to her the day before he left. She understood why he was being so cryptic on the phone that night. She understood now because she knew he wasn't coming back not for a long time.

And with that she put on a fake smile helping Mary to her feet pocketing the letter and leading her into the house where she helped her sit down on the lounge before she went to ring her fathers… it was going to be a long day.


	3. Chapter 3

Seconds turned into minutes… minutes turned into hours… hours turned into days and days turned into weeks. Rachel's days began to blur together as every day she continued to put on her fake smile.

Her daily routine consisted of waking up, grabbing something to eat, checking the mail for letters from Noah, getting ready for school, driving to the Puckerman's house and helping Mary get Lily ready for school before she drove the little girl to school as Mary couldn't as she would be late for work at the hospital if she did, check her phone for messages from Noah, drive to school, make sure phone was in her pocket so she would feel it vibrate it she received a txt or call, go to class, pretend to be happy, lie when people asked her if she knew where Puck was, play with her necklace, check her phone, eat lunch, check her phone, go to class, check her phone, go to Glee practice, check her phone, make sure Mr Shue doesn't tell anyone where Noah is as only the teachers had been informed of the situation, check her phone, pick up Lily, drive to the Puckerman house, check their mail, cook dinner there for when Mary got home, check her phone, clean around the house, help Lily with her homework, assure the little girl that her brother does love her and that he will be home soon, check her phone, give Lily a bath, drive home once Mary arrive home, check the mailbox, check her phone, do her homework, check her phone, cook dinner for her fathers, check her phone, cry herself to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night, check her phone, cry herself to sleep… repeat.

But no matter how many times she checked her mail box or checked her phone there would never be any news no sign that he was alive even though she knew he was after she got her Daddy to call the training facility in California and confirm that Noah was indeed there.

It had been a month by the time the Glee members finally stopped believing that Puck was away visiting his sick non existing Uncle and demanded answers from Mr Shue as none of them knew of her relationship with him so thankfully they were not bugging her for answers.

"Come on Mr Shue Mike, Sam and I left him in California he said he was going to go visit his Uncle for a few days and come home straight after that. I mean sure Puck doesn't like school but there is no way that we can believe that he is still visiting this Uncle that no one has ever heard of when we haven't heard from him in over a month! He hasn't even rung or txt us!" Finn was upset that his best friend just suddenly up and left and appeared to have simply vanished without a trace.

"Guys I'm only telling you what I have been told I don't know anymore than you do" Mr Shue said unconvincingly

"Mr Shue you know when your lieing you bite your bottom lip" Santana said crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at the older man

"Guys please we don't have time for this right now we need to find a replacement for Puck" Mr Shue said trying to sound stern

"But Mr Shue why do we need a replacement for Puck when he is coming back… he is coming back isn't he?" Kurt asked now also suspicious about this whole situation

"Guys please just leave it" Mr Shue said now obviously getting fed up

But they wouldn't stop and before Mr Shue could try and start the class everyone but Rachel started to ask questions all at once so quickly that only partial parts of each question could be made out or understood.

Rachel clutched desperately at the ring hidden in her shirt hanging from her necklace all this talk about her Noah was causing her heart to beat faster than normal even for these days. She felt suffocated as he chest began to clench as if it was trying to prevent her from breathing.

Glancing over at Mr Shue her panic increased as she saw him fail to answer question after question. This wasn't meant to be happening she was meant to be holding it together she was meant to be holding everything and everyone together but right now she was doing a rather poor job at it.

"Please stop" she whispered as the pain in her chest became worse

"Stop" she chocked out as she fought back tears

She hadn't cried since the first time she read the letter… no she couldn't cry she had to be strong… strong for her Noah… strong so she could keep her promise and look after his family… she had to hold it together… but she already knew it was to late for that it had been too late before she even read the letter because she wasn't strong enough to hold it together… because he left… he left her.

"JUST SHUT UP" She screamed standing up still clenching her chest as the pain continued to grow

"JUST SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" She screamed so loud that not one person dared to do or say anything they all just stared at her in shock

"YOU WANT TO KNOW HU! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY HE ISNT HERE!" She hollered glaring furiously at all of them.

She had been holding all of this in. Holding everything in for a month now and it had just became to much. She couldn't hold it in anymore.

"HE ISNT HERE BECAUSE HE LEFT OK! HE LEFT! HE LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO ANYONE HE LEFT NOT CARING WHAT IT WOULD DO TO THE PEOPLE HE LEFT BEHIND HE JUST WILLY NILLY WENT OFF AND JOINED THE FUCKING ARMY WITHOUT EVEN TELLING HIS OWN FAMILY! WITHOUT TELLING ME! HE JUST LEFT AND SUSPECTED US TO ALL JUST CONTINUE ON LIKE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED LIKE IT DOESN'T HURT! LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIS SISTER EVERY DAY THAT HE LOVES HER AND THAT HE DIDN'T LEAVE LIKE HER DADDY DID! HE DOESN'T CARE THAT HIS MOTHER IS WALKING AROUND LIKE A FUCKING ZOMBIE, SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SHE JUST CRYS ALL THE TIME AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF HE MADE ME PROMISE TO LOOK AFTER THEM TO MAKE SURE THAT I TOOK CARE OF THEM BUT GUESS WHAT I CANT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HOW AM I MEANT TO LOOK AFTER HIS FAMILY WHEM I CANT EVEN SLEEPP AT NIGHT WITHOUT HAVING DREAMS OF HIM DIEING ON THE BATTELFIED WHEN I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT KNOWING THAT HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE THAT HE CARES SO LITTLE ABOUT ME THAT…. He… he didn't say goodbye… he didn't… oh god… he didn't"

No one spoke they just watched as the one person who always knew how to hold it all together, their team leader crumble into little pieces right before their eyes. No one knew what to say after everything they had just heard spill out of Rachel's mouth.

She didn't even care when her knees gave way and that she was no on the ground clutching her chest in agony tears flowing from his eyes.

"Rachel were you and Puck… together?" Quinn of all people shocking everyone as she knelt down next to the broken girl reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"How could he ask me something so important and then just leave… how Quinn" Rachel begged the girl she needed an answer but she knew before she even asked that she would not receive one… not one that would make her feel any better anyway.

"Rachel… honey what did he ask you" Quinn asked softly

And they all waited and watched as Rachel finally reached inside her shirt to pull of a gleaming white gold diamond engagement ring.

"He asked me to marry him" She sobbed before she gave into the pain that had now become utterly unbearable as she let the darkness take her the last thing she saw was the shocked faces of her friends before Quinn quickly caught her.

* * *

><p><strong>Not sure if this chapter is any good or not so can you please not just subscribe to story alert and please add a review I know my writing style is different from alot of people seeing as I have alot more thoughts and feelings written than actual dialog so sorry about that but I cant help it really its just how I write. <strong>

**Please review! **

**I need to know enough people actually like this so I can continue :) If anyone reading are past readers of my stories then they will know that I am pretty bad at actually every finishing any of my stories and they just usually end up being put up for adoption :) sorry about that but yeah i get bored and derstraced easily and usually that results in my having a new idea writing chaps running out of ideas and then getting a new idea for a new story and forgetting about the last one.**

**But i dont want to do that with this story I actually hope to finish it :) so please**

**REVIEW!**


End file.
